


5 Things Ravenclaws are Not

by Vashti (tvashti)



Series: The Alphabet Series [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 5 Things, F/M, Gen, Gryffindor Bravery, Gryffindor Stupidity, Head of Ravenclaw Snape, Love Hurts, Ravenclaw, Ravenclaw Severus Snape, Ravenclaws are too clever for their own good, Snape is Snape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-02 20:45:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14553183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tvashti/pseuds/Vashti
Summary: Stereotypes are only House-deep.





	1. Socially Skilled

**Author's Note:**

> Written back in 2009 in response to a meme and subsequent fic request by [Duckie_Nicks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duckie_Nicks) for "5 things Ravenclaws are not." It is part of the AU Harry Potter universe created by the Hogwarts Castle RPG and HP discussion board, to which we both belonged. Do not be surprised if familiar characters show up in wildly unfamiliar roles (see tags). You can read these as sarcastic/tongue-in-cheek or literally. It's up to you.
> 
> I've cleaned up the story for clarity and such, but it is largely unchanged from the original.

Maryellyanne Silverton looked around the Ravenclaws and Slytherins, all staring at her like she’d grown two heads. She hadn’t. She knew she hadn’t. If she had there’d be double the ocular stimulus and her field of vision, much like a chameleon’s, would have expanded and varied greatly. She would also have a headache by now. Sarah Perkins had had an accident in Potions once and grown Maryellyanne that second head, so she knew all this from personal, painful, experience. “One set of eyes at a time, dear,” Madame Pomfrey had told her then. “And whichever head’s got her eyes open is the one that can do the talking for both of you.”

So she hadn’t in fact grown another head, despite the inauspicious looks her house- and classmates were giving her. 

“I take it, then, that you didn’t all know about Professor Snape and Professor Vector?” She turned her head, slowly meeting the eyes staring at her in wild disbelief before their wild whispered speculation broke like a thunderstorm.

Turning from her classmates, she looked up at the staff table, eyes skipping over Professor Vector directly to her Head of House. She reached for her cup of pumpkin juice, raising it slightly before bringing it to her lips. A house not worthy of him, were they?

Maryellyanne turned from the staff table to her breakfast, and let the heavy curtain of her corkscrew hair hide her small smile.


	2. Popular

“Georgina! Georgina, wait!”

The mousy brunette stopped in the hall, clutching her text close to her body. She was doing a side project for Care of Magical Creatures and if she didn’t hold her Monster book tightly it would eat right through the leather straps binding it and make a mess of her books, quills, parchments and inks. 

Students streamed around her. Her Housemates gave her a quick glance until they saw who was asking her to stop. Then they went scurrying on their merry way. Most of the other students in the hall weren’t in their year, and cared more about her being in their way than why she was stopped.

“What do you want, Corey?” He was a handsome enough Fifth Year. His dark blond hair and hazel eyes made the girls in their year go goofy. His abilities as a Beater made the guys envy or despise him, depending on which house was playing Gryffindor that week. Georgie very much expected that he’d have a bevy of followers by Seventh Year unless he did something terribly pea-brained to screw it up.

He grinned as he caught up to her. Georgie had seen him grin before, with his friends out on the grounds when they were just having a good time. What he was giving her now was not a genuine smile. This was a smile meant to impress. She was surprised that he bothered. She was just little brown mouse Georgie after all. “I need help,” he said.

Well that explained it. “Herbology or Arithmancy?”

“Neither.”

“No?”

“No. I need help with Maryellyanne. I want to ask her out.”


	3. Wary

Brandon looked at Maryellyanne blandly. “So, let me get this straight. Corey McIntire wants to ask you out.”

She nodded slowly.

“He knows you, right?”

If he’d said it to any other girl in their year, even one as slightly left-of-center as Maryellyanne (which there weren’t any), he could have expected a hex in his direction. Or a pillow from one of the many armchairs and couches that littered the study room. But Maryellyanne was very up front about her oddness and didn’t take it the wrong way when someone pointed it out. Of course part of her oddness was her complete inability to be fazed by _anything_ , so Brandon supposed it was in keeping with her character.

So instead of a pillow (or hex) to the face he got a shrug. “He knows me well enough to want to try and talk to me.”

Brandon frowned. “Who told you that?”

“Georgie.”

His frowned deepened. “And how’d Georgie find out?”

“He tried to enlist her help to woo me?”

Brandon snorted. “Did he really say ‘woo’? Because—”

“No,” the coco-colored Fifth Year said. “I’m putting words in his mouth.” And that was about as close as she was going to get to showing that his silliness was beginning to annoy.

“So you’re interested in this guy?”

Maryellyanne shrugged. “Maybe. Is there any reason that I shouldn’t be? That’s part of the reason why I’m talking to you about him after all. You are a boy.”

And as a boy there was certain information that he would know that she couldn’t find out. “Good point. Okay, I’ll find out if there’s any reason why you shouldn’t.”


	4. Protected

It was weird. Now that he had made up his mind to talk to Maryellyanne, Corey found himself spending all of his time with Georgina Poplatokis instead. One of those random things, he supposed. He wanted to get in good with Maryellyanne, the oddest witch in their year, and he had seen Georgina enough in her company to figure that she understood the other girl. Corey had figured that it was a gesture that Maryellyanne and her friends would respect. He was playing it smart after all; since he didn’t understand her, he was going to someone who did.

Turned out Georgina (or Georgie as she kept telling him everyone in Ravenclaw called her) was pretty cool after all. He wondered if after he got up the nerve to talk to Maryellyanne—please Merlin one whole sentence without sounding like an idiot!—if he and Georgie could still be friends.

He was wondering this, in fact, as he slowly dropped away from his fellow classmates on their way back to their respective common rooms. Gryffindor had a break next. One that he should be using to revise for Potions. Now that Snape wasn’t teaching it though, and hadn’t been since Corey was a Second Year, it was a bit harder to work up the desperate need to not be made to look like an utter fool in front of his classmates. Besides, he knew Potions like the back of his—

“Mr. McIntire.” 

A cold hand went slithering down Corey’s spine as sweat broke across his brow. 

“A moment if, you please.” It was clearly not a request.

Corey stopped moving, watching as his classmates drew further and further away, leaving him alone with their Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher: Professor Snape. Corey turned. “Yes—” He coughed, hoping his voice wouldn’t crack again. “Yes, sir?”

Professor Snape stopped in front of him. He was only taller by half a foot, maybe, but Corey felt like a Second Year all over again. “I require but a moment of your time, Mr. McIntire, then you may return to whatever banality you were planning for your study period.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you.”

The professor’s response was an eloquent snort. “You have been seen in the company of one of the students of my House.”

At Corey’s blank stare—he’d been in the company of Slytherins recently?—Professor Snape rolled his eyes as he tucked his hands into his sleeves. “House _Ravenclaw_?”

“Oh! Oh, yes, Professor. Georgina Popla—”

“Yes, yes, I am well aware of the girls’ name. You have been in her company _excessively_.”

Corey blinked at the man. “I have?”

“Are you courting my student?”

“Am I courting—?!”

Professor Snape’s expression turned derisive. “Are you a wizard, Mr. McIntire or a poor excuse for parrot?”

“I, uh… That is, I’m a—”

A sneer pulling at his mouth, Professor Snape cut him off. “No need to prove my point quite so thoroughly, McIntire. Suffice it to say that you shall cease and desist in your actions. I detest tears of any sort. I will not have a weeping teenage _girl_ in my office on account of a pimply-faced Gryffindor who cannot form a whole sentence, let alone banish a pollywog without first consulting the text.” With that the professor turned in a flourish of trailing black robes to return to his offices in the DADA classroom.

“But, Professor—”

Corey knew he’d made a mistake almost as soon as the words were out of his mouth. _He_ is _a great bat_ , the Fifth Year Gryffindor thought as Professor Snape turned and descended on him. 

“Ravenclaw House is not an unprotected field waiting to be plucked over by a thieving, capricious Gryffindor. Georgie Poplatokis not least of all.” His voice was cold and hard and silky enough to wrap around Corey’s spine and pull it apart. “Think on what you mean to do, boy, for perhaps the first time in your life, else you regret it. Do you understand me?”

Corey nodded twice, so sharply his eyes hurt. He thought he did. He hoped he did. Man, was he glad he was after Maryellyanne and not Georgie.


	5. Loyal

Maryellyanne turned her pensive gaze on the Fifth Years sitting at the House table with her. Brandon was there, as were Clovis, Geraldine, Rich and Pippa. Of the five she was closest to Geraldine and Pippa, but she knew all of them to varying degrees. (Ravenclaw was a tiny house, after all.) They all had clear, logical heads and wouldn’t steer her wrong. 

For their part, this was the closest they’d ever gotten to seeing Maryellyanne Silverton (best known for handling every and anything with total aplomb) in anything resembling distress. They watched her eyes dart down the long table—in Georgie’s general direction. Surrounded by Sixth Years, none of them could see her easily, but they knew she was there. Small as she was, she made a pocket of space amongst their taller housemates.

Rich reached across the table and pulled on Maryellyanne’s fingers. “I was there, Mar’anne.” He was the only one who ever contracted her name. Which she usually corrected. But this time she just turned her wide brown eyes on him. 

“You’re sure,” she asked again.

“It was Snape, Mar’anne. Snape telling Corey to stay away from Georgie. He didn’t mention you at all.”

“And he spends all his time with her,” Clovis added. Brandon and Pippa nodded. Geraldine moved closer to her friend. She was there for moral support. And the occasional wise question: “Then why, by Merlin’s arthritic knees, is he telling Georgie that he’s into Maryellyanne?”

No one had an answer, after having already spent a week trying to work one out.

“If only it hadn’t been Snape,” Maryellyanne said thoughtfully.

The others agreed. “He’s only the brightest wizard of this age,” Pippa muttered. “He should have sorted Ravenclaw the first time.”

The entire group (along with any Ravenclaw within hearing distance) nodded. It was an old point of nearly bitter contention among the house now. At least to a group of highly emotive, very bright teenagers.

Maryellyanne looked up from the fine wood grain of the table. “So what now?”

“Hex him,” came several simultaneous replies.

A small, dangerous, smile appeared on Brandon’s face. He stood up. “Let’s. All of Fifth Year is here. They’ll back us up.”

“It will start a House War,” Maryellyanne pointed out, even as she stood with the rest of them. 

Geraldine snorted. “Don’t be silly. We’ll all get detention and lose a host of points—”

“Snape is going to have our heads in jars,” someone muttered..

“—but no one will dare try to start a House War once they find out some Gryffindor was leading around Georgina Poplatokis.”

They looked at each other. Aware that they were not, of course, the only Ravenclaws at the table within hearing distance, they also took a glance at their housemates. The ones who caught their eyes shrugged or nodded or returned to their studies. Then they looked at Maryellyanne. “Agreed. We hex him into next Tuesday.”

Rich cleared his throat. “We have a Charms practical with Gryffindor next Monday.”

General grumbling met that reminder. “Seems like a pretty good punishment to me,” Clovis said.

“But he won’t see it that way,” Rich pointed out.

“What about the _cimexicis_ jinx?” Maryellyanne asked. “The insect jinx. You do a good one, Pippa.”

The blond flushed. “It’s all right.”

“It’s great. Brilliant even. So you’ll do it?

Pippa nodded. “For Georgie? Anything.”

“Good, we’re set.” 

It took a moment for Corey McIntire to realize the spreading hush had to do with him. He looked up to see six Ravenclaw Fifth Years standing over him. The other Houses seemed not to notice. Then again, the rest of the Gryffindor table was ignoring them, too. 

Corey looked up. He swallowed. Maryellyanne (and five Ravenclaws he didn’t know) was standing over him, her hair a glowing brown halo in the fading light. “M-Mary…Maryellyanne. Hallo.”

“Hello, Corey.” Her American accent was strange and out of place, and lovely to his ears. “You’ve been talking to people about me.”

He swallowed again. “Look, I hope you don’t misunderstand. I just wanted to make sure—”

“And you’ve been seen in the company of Georgina Poplatokis.”

Corey’s stomach fled somewhere to the vicinity of his toes. “Yeah. She’s been helping me a bit, trying to figure—”

“So you admit to stringing her along.”

“What? What?!” He could feel his face turning red. He took a quick glance around, sure that, somehow, Snape had put the idea in Maryellyanne’s head. “No, not at all.”

“Are you really that blind?” a tiny brunette with a heartshaped face but a reed thin figure said. “All this time did you even look at Georgie twice?”

“Uh, sure?”

There was a collective groan—not just from the Ravenclaws in front of him, but even his own housemates! “What?” 

One of his friends, Ian, reached over and punched him in the arm. “Told ya you were in fer it.”

“See. Not a House War in sight,” another of the Ravenclaw girls said. 

“House War?”

“Pippa,” Maryellyanne was saying. “If you please.”

A nice looking girl with short blond hair and a face full of freckles moved closer to Maryellyanne. Who wasn’t looking quite so angelic anymore. The girl’s face drew into a frown, and suddenly she wasn’t looking so nice anymore either. “For Geor—”

“Wait! Wait, you guys, wait!” It was Georgina. Corey breathed a sigh of relief. He was happy to be breathing at all. Craning his neck, he could see her disentangling herself from a knot of Sixth Years. “Don’t you all think you’re overreacting?”

“No,” they said as one.

She came to stand next to Maryellyanne. They were a picture of opposites. Maryellyanne was tall, graceful, brown-skinned and had wide, open features. Her gaze was calm, clear and piercing. Georgina was small, round, with button features and always seemed to…Corey couldn’t exactly put his finger on it but “ready to run away” popped into his head. She didn’t look like that now. She looked just as impressive as Maryellyanne, or anyone else for that matter. 

“You _are_ overreacting. He doesn’t like me. He likes Maryellyanne.”

Maryellyanne gave her a penetrating stare, which Georgie easily returned. “You’re sure.”

“Very.”

“Okay.” 

Corey slumped in relief. 

“But do _you_ like him?”

Georgie’s penetrating stare faltered. Corey had just enough time to swear to himself before Maryellyanne turned to the blond and said, “Jinx him.”

 

[in]Fin[ite]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually knew a little girl named Maryellyanne (Mary Elly Anne said as fast and as smushed together as you can manage), and she was the chillest, most unflappable kindergartner you could ever hope to meet. I can only hope she still is.
> 
> There's a, sort of, follow-up to this story called "You Could be Dancin'", which I will post soon. Both this story and that one are part of a larger verse called The Alphabet Series. I probably won't get around to posting it, but you never know.


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